Thursday, 16 April 2009

Thai rats and other troublesome tales

History repeated itself yesterday, when I walked in on my Thai boyfriend whilst he was on the phone to his other girlfriend. Fortunately, unlike the first time this happened with an ex, he didn't have his erect penis in his hand, nor was he frantically rubbing it whilst describing a sordid fantasy. I didn't expect my fisher boy to be faithful. I am under no illusion that most guys get jobs here so they can get laid to a different white western girl every week. I was however a tad pissed off that on the day I returned home to Koh Lanta, he got his auntie to whisk me away for the night, so he could have an early night. He of course neglected to mention that the early night was to be spent was with his latest girlfriend. At least he apologised and didn't blame me, unlike the last incident, when I was told it was all my fault. These cheating men eh? They are the same the world over.

Anyway, enough of that, apologies for the lack of contact. I've been pretty busy travelling around Malaysia with my lovely friend French Claire. There I did some more diving and went fishing in Lipe with Will, pictured with his girlfriend Natasha, whose mum Sue works in the Barbakan. What a small world it is. It was lovely to reminisce about Chorlton. Too much has happened in the last month. I had trouble getting out of Thailand without a visa in my new passport. It took me two days, 240 pounds and a lot of patience. Good job I had the cash, no thanks to my mum who sent out my PADI diving card instead of my bank card (at a cost of fifty pounds). Imagine my disbelief when I opened the envelope. As if anything else could go wrong (it did). The immigration officials took pity on me and gave me a free lunch. Okay, not so free, but it was very kind of them. I've had more marriage proposals, suffered a bad case of sea lice, tripped and got my foot impaled on nails, had two both exhilarating but terrifying journeys on a boat at night to get to the local nightspot (the captain was drunk in charge of the vessel and his co-captain was lighting the way with his mobile phone). Despite all these shenanigans I've had a wonderful time.

Now I'm back to where I consider to be my home in Thailand, after a detour to attend Phuket Bike Week. No, I haven't traded in my moped for a Harley, I went to see Thailand's biggest reggae act Job 2 Do. I've been dying to see him, so much so I found myself alone in Phuket surrounded by hairy Thai bikers in leathers and chaps. They all turned out to be perfectly hospitable. I spent a wonderful two days dancing and drinking lots of beer with them. Job 2 Do was amazing. I love him.

We have just celebrated Songkran, the Thai new Year. It is marked by pouring water over people to signify cleansing and purity. It was great fun, but I'd rather have had an Easter egg and a roast. I love the fact that I can make my new year's resolutions all over again, especially as I haven't kept a single one. I don't know why I bother. My resolution should be to accept that I'm always going to be a greedy, beer-swilling party animal rather than a svelte, disciplined gym freak. Of course plenty of beer was drunk on Songkran, as we toasted new beginnings. I'll be home in less than two weeks to start a new and exciting chapter in my life. I'll be sad to leave Thailand though. I'll miss the wonderful friends I've made, the stunning sunsets over the sea, the delicious food, the beautiful beaches, the incredible diving, the list is endless. I won't, however, miss my rat of a room mate (of the animal variety not fisher boy) and it's droppings, the mossies, the bugs, the heat, having to put my soiled loo paper in the bin and constantly being ripped off.
Happy Songkran.

Vic xx

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